We’ve all done it: said something, in fact, said many things negative about a person, academic course, decision, and everything else. It’s very easy and tempting to fall into it. Yet when we let others’ negative comments affect who we are and what we do, it may damage us emotionally and decrease our potential.
Maybe some personal examples will help us to understand how this happens; I’ll deal with my two favourite topics: fitness and the MCAT (Medical Collage Admission Test).
In previous years, I would have to say that I was not a physically fit person. My frame was a big on the large side, rather the huge side. Now that I’m starting to do the math, from grade 10ish to now (3rd year university), I’ve lost roughly 40-50 pounds. Wow. That’s not the point though. Before, and even now, people would talk about how hard it is to workout, how hard it is to eat healthy food, blah blah blah. Frankly, this was a little discouraging.
A wise person once said this, and it has served me well for my life: Screw them.
Let’s use some good ol’ logic here: What do other people know about your abilities? More than you? No way. Do other people understand your true potential? We aren’t even fully aware of our own potential, how could someone else possibly understand yours?
Even past unsuccessful attempts are not indicative of future successes. Chester Carlson searched for 10 years to find a company to buy his xerographic device: later to become Xerox Co. Charles Dickens came from working 10-hour days sticking labels on bottles to become one of history’s most famed authors.
So we know people can’t know about our true potential, but they also are probably not experts in the field they’re bad-mouthing. People are quite willing to talk about how hard the MCAT is, but do they even know what the 4 sections are? Do they know what it’s like to take a test of that length (6-8 hours)? The funny thing is: not that bad. Didn’t expect that, eh?
It’s important to remember not to take the advice of self-proclaimed experts. When it comes down to it, we are all unique, and another person’s perspective/ability/knowledge will not be the same as ours. What other people “know”, may not apply to you.
Hopefully, you can see why we don’t need to let other people’s negativity affect us. However, what we say to ourselves is important too. In the same way that repeated actions would build into skills such as throwing a ball, repeated thought patterns can strengthen neural pathways to make them flow more smoothly. Keep thinking in a negative way, it will be very easy to continue thinking negatively.
But as always, there is hope: Start thinking more positively (less negatively) and those negative pathways will degrade and positive ones will start to develop in their place.
So the big question: How can we foster positivity (in our external and internal environment)?
Prevention:
- Avoid consistently negative people: sounds a little harsh, but we are talking about your mental health here.
- Interrupt negativity: you can be more elegant by gently guiding a conversation to a different topic or perspective; you could just yell, “MOO!”
Antidote:
- Positive logic: positive thinking isn’t about mindless self-affirmation, we are too smart to blindly let that chanting enter our conscious and subconscious. Positive thinking should be based in logic. Remember why something is actually easy, beneficial, interesting, etc. Critically analyze your positivity; you are surprisingly good at it.
- Positive people: if you can find them, consider yourself truly lucky. They are the sorts of people that can turn your day around and that light the world for those around them. In the same way that people would be glad to be around them, try to be positive yourself, so that people are glad to be around you. Remember: no one wants to hang around a person who constantly talks about the bad aspects.
Since I’d like to emphasize this even further, I’ll reiterate: Positive thinking is not a passive, mindless idea. Positive thinking is fierce, logical tool. It is not smiling when you are truly miserable; it is taking the good that can be found and taking what you can from it.
So I’ll challenge you: This week (and for your life if you can manage it) strive for positivity and avoid negativity.
